Exposing Satanic Abuse and Hope in Healing
Exposing Satanic Abuse and Hope in Healing
Sarah Jacqueline’s conference transcript from the 2013 Annual Ritual Abuse, Secretive Organizations and Mind Control Conference
Please use caution while read to this presentation. It may be very triggering. All accusations are alleged. The conference and this transcript are educational and not intended as therapy or treatment.
Sarah Jacqueline freed herself through a deep inner journey from living in numbness to now living in a feeling free life. She was born into Satanic abuse and was exposed for all of her childhood and teenage years abuse that nobody should ever experience. She speaks about hope and about letting go and moving forward …now is the time to just let it go and help!
Exposing the Satanic Cult–there is Hope and Promise
Thank you Neil for this most important conference. A place to reveal truth in a very safe way and this is the energy, the feeling that encourages the rest of us, as survivors, to walk that path of truth in confidence. Thank you
My name is Jacqui Derbecker and I am a teacher, artist, author, jogger and clairvoyant. I teach children from 8:30-4:00 and then move into my practice as surrounded by my psychic ability. I can see, hear, feel, smell and taste psychically. I push past the veil into other healing places. As well as mediumship and medical intuition. I have developed this psychic ability due to alleged abuse experience I had as a child and adolescent. After living so low, so dark I decided to make a U-TURN and turn this experience into beauty, reason, purpose, love, calling and courage.
I want to speak about this slowly and carefully so that you can stay with me and become further aware and/or confirmed that is has happened and still is happening today and now. Yet in its exposure it will dismantle and disappear. As many others here this weekend I too have seen the darkness or hell or satanic abuse. The price of keeping this secret is paid in terms of emotional, energetic, mental , physical and spiritual disease. We pay the price in entering abusive relationship with others, addictions, spiritual annihilations, cultural despair, losing compassion and our emotions. We close our eyes and pull up the blinders and don’t see it.
Sixteen years ago I was beginning to have crazy unbelievable memories in great detail and through this detail I allegedly discovered being born and raised by those who worship satan. It is truly different from other forms of abuse because of the satanic programming or other words to use are mind bending, mind viruses, memes (mind infections=ego) , bending ideas in opposite directions, or planted ideas through ritualistic ceremonies or abuse using threats and pain. (mention books Bruce Lipton and Eldon Taylor).
It isn’t my intention for people to leave in horror and shock. In the end this is to help you claim your true self. Maybe something I say will be healing for you, familiar, confirming and stronger in your self. By exposing individually we are bringing it to the Light and therefore lose power. By exposing it can no longer hide as a shadow because Light does not cast the shadow: it reveals it. By continually exposing we diminish it moment by moment until all that’s left is your Light.
Through exposing satanic abuse you release and dismantle it and it then dissolves and leaves only your true Light self. Your original self. I just caution you as I read some triggering memories that I discovered in detail through several recovered memories. I would like to tenderly share some of these with you in hopes of helping you. I have memories of being tortured, burned, group raped in honour of satan, forced to eat animal organs, photographed as an adolescent with a brown paper bag over y head while being smeared with animal and human feces and special oils, drugged, placed in a coffin of blood, dropped in a hole, threatened for my life , locked in the basement of a church, placed near death, hung upside down and forced to watch my father beaten and tortured as he was hung on an upside down cross. I was forced to watch the horrors of the torture and abuse of other children and including my two brothers and mother, other children in sadistic ways. The torture involves animals and children being forced to watch infants and other children being tortured with objects. They use certain forms of symbols, chants, lotions, smells, being chained to an alter…I watched demonic possession and forms of lizard activity, opening and closing portals. I was taught hate for God and love for satan, then love of God hate of satan. God is love , love is satan… I have visited hell and know what this is .
I know what it feels like to be triggered by almost everything. The best thing that a therapist can say is ” I have heard this before.”
Triggered for me meaning hysteria, anxiety, worry , panic, fear, all followed by dissociation. When I dissociate I don’t feel and I leave my body. One of my turning points was to actually feel this happening. To be aware and then to know and feel when the dissociation occurs was a huge piece for me. I recognized I was triggered by certain words (God, satan, blood, love, fear, alter, oil, feces, musical tones, smells , physical touch (massage was impossible for me), sexual intimacy. I was programmed to marry satan and to declare that satan was my husband. Certain foods were also triggering–meat- for one. I would often just eat chocolate and red licorice during my healing process as it seemed to be the only thing I could control. I would be triggered by black and red hooded clothing, Catholic Churches (Black Mass in this church is when the ceremonies would happen), certain holidays, and birthdays through post-hypnotic suggestions. Even holding a baby was triggering for me…some female adolescents were used as breeders in order for baby sacrifice. I remember my baby sacrifice when I was about 16 years old. I call him/her “Little One” . I had to do things through being threatened for my life or they would kill me, my pets and two brothers. I feel and believe that I am forgiven. If baby sacrifice happened to you just remember you were drugged, threatened, programmed, forced and had no choice.
But I made it as did several others, some here, some not and now we need to speak more about it because it needs to stop and it is stopping because we stop the feed. I made the decision 16 years ago to release and punch through this . Through support and healing of many therapists I have release or deprogrammed 100’s of programs and demonic spirits. I was feeling unworthy, sick and crazy…but every single time I released a memory or was involved in deprogramming. AFTER I felt amazing, lighter, open, which convinced me to go on. Even if I felt a little bit of lightness or ease I went on and I say for you–keep going. Yes , it is difficult to have these unbelievable memories and for others you really don’t understand how horrific these satanic abuse memories are unless you’ve been there yourself. I do understand and stand not before you but with you to say its all OK for you .
I am now in a place in my life where I am focusing upon The Light–higher vibrational way of living my friendships have shifted and changed—I see, feel, hear, and taste life differently now. For those who are therapists you may hear some unbelievable memories and almost a sci-fi and I believe you will hear even more …but please continue to allow us to feel safe to speak, be believed and loved and understood. Often we are numb, feeling awkward, dissociative, and can’t even feel feelings, let alone love for ourselves or for others and if you, as the therapist can display, role model, speak of love and beauty that helps us. As a survivor allow yourself to continue to move through. What you have gone through makes you the one who can teach the “through”. Each memory release or your truth brings with it an opening and this opening is the revealing of your authentic self. The satanic cult will try to embed into to try to convince you that you cannot and will not heal.
As I released and was deprogrammed I began to feel feelings (a bit at a time) and rest my brain. I say “continue to find your truth. What is your truth? Truth does set you free, I know sounds so cliché. Truth is freedom-freedom is truth.” This feeling of “freedom” of speaking your truth has no language. It’s indescribable because it’s Spirit. It is who you are and nobody can ever touch that part of who you truly are. The truth of not only your story of what happened but who you truly are. Where ever you are in your healing say to yourself, “I am doing a great job I am love. I am safe. I am peace. I am ok.” Even if you don’t believe this or feel it..this is important.
Perhaps this is your calling. You survived and you are sitting here, perhaps a bit triggered or you are a therapist here trying to figure out how to best help. Perhaps your soul’s purpose is to help others because you are from there. What I have discovered is that if you continue to live in fear, worry, anxiety, then you still living under their ruling and believing them. This is the premise of satanic teachings –fear. They want to wound you so you will go back to the tribe. The more you live in fear the more fear you will attract. This is called the Law of Attraction. A mystical law that mirror reflects back to you what you are thinking and feeling. If you get up in the morning and say what a rotten day then it will be but if you say this is going to be a great day then it will be a great day. It if your choice. Move through it, if you want to. Free will or will to be free. Discover that sacred space inside of you…that sparkle/Light/that original /that God/that source/vastness/openness –that love within you…that part of who you really are, is never and can never be destroyed every. They can not take that part of you away or destroy that part of you.
Even if you can’t feel this love inside of you–that’s ok because as you release and move through your memories you slowly bit by bit begin to feel love. I started to feel and thought “what if I get out of control with my feelings?” I am still working on deeply loving. I have felt resentful, anger, blaming to those who hurt me . Then after a while (years) I got to a healing point where I gave them love–this could be called “forgiveness” –I call it “giving forth love” to those who have injured because they too are also programmed, injured and perhaps lost in this dark way of being or ego. By giving love to the ones who hurt you really does set you free. It took me years to get to this point. In other words in the releasing there truly is a real ease. Which is your freedom. Your authentic self , sacred self, claim your true self. All people can… Speaking your truth may mean you begin in a parallelized silence and end in a vocal triumph.
I have written a series of books SARAH SERIES specifically addressing satanic abuse and exposing this form abuse and healing from this abuse. My latest book “Breaking Free from the Illusion”…I speak about the illusion that Satanists attempt to teach you –that you are nobody. Once you recognize that you are just love and they have attempted to teach or program or mind bend you into believing you are not then a huge Ah Ha moment arrives. Their teachings are false, lies, and wrong. You are just love. You were born love and only love, that’s it. Yes, perhaps you choose this route…to experience satanic abuse in order to heal from this and help others. I know that I chose this route in order to release it and leave it in grace and speak aloud and expose it…
My books within the SARAH SERIES are : Exposing Satanic Abuse, Sexual Intimacy, Breaking Free From The Illusion, How to Balance Your Life When Moving Through Satanic Abuse Healing, Addendum of Hope, Deprogramming Satanic Programs, 365 Daily Healing Pages for Satanic Abuse Survivors, Healing Words, and more to be created.
Ask yourself “what are you dreams, hopes and wishes?”…..start to move and shift in the direction of your dreams…just one little step.
The song you will hear is “I can see Clearly NOW ”
Ending with my poem: Turning the Darkness Outward and Exposing The Living Light from Deep Within
This isn’t about me
I walked through this darkness or illusion in order to say to you:
—stand proud and strong
–listen to your truth
–trust yourself as best as you can
–find your truth
–stand in joy
–believe in yourself and others
–step into your power
–go through the darkness into the Light
–there is hope
YOU CAN DO AND YOU MUST!!