Should I seek freedom? Should I go through with recovery? Wendy Hoffman
Welcome to the SMART Conference 2022. Please note: This presentation may remind survivors of their programming. Please use your support systems as needed. This presentation and the rest of the conference are not intended as therapy or treatment. All accusations are alleged. https://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/
Should I seek freedom? Should I go through with recovery? A workshop to help you decide and a discussion of its benefits – Wendy Hoffman
If you’re living as an unaware mind controlled victim, you’re living in a vapor, seeing yourself and life through an indistinct veil of mist. You have strong emotions that can break through numbness, but you don’t know who you are or why you react the ways you do. You may also feel trapped in hurtful and unloving relationships and not able to mature into who you really are. All that can be changed if you are willing to go through with a recovery. It is hard work. It can be exhilarating. The enemy group will try to stop you. But if you want, you can find out who you are and what your life has been and can be in the future. This presentation explores some of the benefits of relinquishing slavery and learning who you are. Self-knowledge is the way out.
Wendy Hoffman had amnesia for most of her life. When she regained memory, she wrote books about her forgotten life. Wendy has published three memoirs, Enslaved Queen, White Witch in a Black Robe and in 2020, A Brain of My Own. The Enslaved Queen has been translated and published in Germany. Her book of poetry, Forceps, also published along with a book of essays, From the Trenches, written with Alison Miller. Her most recent memoir, After Amnesia, is published on the SmartNews and Survivorship websites. and has been translated into German. What gives her life meaning is helping other surviving victims. https://ritualabuse.us/smart/wendy-hoffman/
SHOULD I SEEK FREEDOM? SHOULD I GO THROUGH THIS?
Wendy Hoffman
@ copyright 2022
This presentation is triggering. Being triggered in a safe environment helps you discover what has been placed inside your brain.
This presentation is mostly geared to surviving victims of generation mind control—those who were born into mind control cults. I am calling this kind of mind control criminal mind control, which is the intentional, systematic usurping of another human’s brain to cause that person to become an unknowing slave. By unknowing, I mean having little or no memory of events or abuses. Memory is still stored somewhere in the brain, but dissociative victims don’t have easy access to it. Victims in recovery can find these deep memories. This knowledge can pop up unbidden, be triggered, or survivors can probe their insides and seek it.
What I say may also be of interest to those who help survivors, therapists who treat them and to those who voluntarily signed up to be in a mind control cult. It is also for the general public that may want to know more.
For surviving victims, whether to start to know is a pivotal moment in life. It is one of the most important decisions anyone can make and may be the first decision survivors make on their own, without being commanded. Deciding to discover who you are is an enormous event. This presentation is not for those who think life is good enough as it is. It is for those struggling to know whether to go ahead and find out what was put in you or to continue this hard work. It is also for those who have doubts. And for those who value freedom and authenticity.
A middle ground also exists between not wanting to know and desiring complete freedom. Many surviving victims may want to know who they are and what they come from, but they don’t want to know the details of what they’ve already endured, are enduring, or the different sections of mind control implanted in their brains. They are not living in ignorance, can still help other survivors if they choose and do not want to be public about their background. The downside of this middle ground is that some may still be vulnerable to being accessed and mind controlled anew. Others may live in relative safety in non-cult communities and with non-cult spouses or partners and away from mind control families and their networks. But not everyone has those benefits.
Whatever you choose, it does not erase the past. You may be able to come closer to who you really are, but that does not mean you have not had the past that you have lived through.
Recovering from criminal mind control is still a new field, and before they start, many survivors and practitioners don’t know what to expect, what the process is or how long it may take or how painful it may be. Consequently, surviving victims are not fully aware when they have to choose, for there can’t be ‘informed consent.’ And in the beginning, desperate front people or deeply hidden inside parts or both make the decisions. Front people are designed by perpetrators to go through the motions of living a normal-enough life and be oblivious to what is happening inside the brain and often physically. How could they then make a real decision!
Essentially, the choice is between entering a difficult, grueling process that has inherent risks and may take a long time, or knowing some or a little of who you are while looking for stability, or remaining lifelong in a state of being a manufactured robot with no memory or awareness of what has and perhaps is happening to you. It is not an obvious choice. It would be easy to think that if you want it, it can’t be that hard to achieve. But we are in the first stages of knowledge about recovery, when the enemy is still fighting hard to stop this quest for freedom.
This presentation discusses the dangers of each decision, respects individuality and invites audience participation.
If you are just beginning to be aware of who you really are and what the enemy willingly put in your brain or was forced to insert in your brain, you may not understand some of what I say. However, some parts or artificially constructed personalities within your brain will hear and understand. Let them listen. They will learn and may be able eventually to make a good decision and even lead you to the form of recovery you choose. Try not to hinder their process.
Criminal mind control is a potent form of slavery. Comparisons are made between criminal mind control and other forms of slavery. But in criminal mind control, the purpose is to make victims’ brains blind, deaf, unknowing and to follow perpetrators’ commands in a robotic state without questioning or thinking. Slaves in the U.S. south and elsewhere knew torture but probably not implanted amnesia. When they decided to flee in the hopes of finding the underground railroad that would lead to freedom, they still had the use of their brains.
During the Holocaust, the infamous Mengele chose some victims to experiment on and advance his use of mind control. Simultaneously, other master programmers around the world worked on perfecting mind control and brain washing on humans. In the U.S. and other countries, programmers had to return some victims to normal-appearing life, but when Mengele worked only in the camps, he didn’t. Most of his victims in the concentration camps were not inflicted with amnesia. They knew what was happening to them and could discuss these treacheries with other victims. Not so with satanic criminal mind control victims. We survivors are fighting for our brains, our awareness of who we are, what is real in us and what has been placed in us against our will. Our perpetrators started this abuse before we even knew there was such as thing as a self.
People can’t really decide to go through the recovery process until they know whether they are survivors of criminal mind control. Lists exist in books and online of symptoms and aftereffects that victims of mind control display. You and outsiders can observe aftereffects such as spontaneous head shakes that are not really spontaneous or survivors expressing the belief that temporary events will last forever. On a different level and from a different angle, your soul can help dissociated victims determine if they have this abusive background. Investigate within, internally and observe yourself. Do you feel that you’ve become who you are? No matter how much you body has aged, do you feel large parts of your personality and mind have remained children or childlike and that those sections of yourself have not matured no matter how old you’ve become? Do you feel that someone else has made the decisions in your life, that you have not made your own choices? Do you expect to be told what to do? Do you unconsciously wait for commands and even ask others what you should do when you are the best judge of that? Do you find that your life moves against your will? Do you not believe in yourself but on some deeply buried, hidden level do believe in yourself? Do some of you believe that you live a paralyzed life? None of this proves anything, but may give hints about what you may have been born into. Some from ordinary life may also relate to some or even all of these questions.
If you choose not to go through with at least a partial recovery and find out who you are, life will probably remain pretty much the same. Mind control has existed for generations. Our ancestors died without knowing who they were. If you don’t work diligently on taking your mind back, you have chosen consciously or unconsciously to remain in part an automaton that other people who are enemies control. You may be forced to do things that you would never ever choose to commit. Your actions may be decided by which option is the least harmful or has the least harmful consequences. However, there’s probably a moment or two or more in life when it’s the right time to flee. Some choose when their children are grown, others when they’ve found a way to support themselves financially, others when they can take no more. If this present time isn’t one of those moments for you, it doesn’t mean you will not choose freedom in the future.
If you choose to begin or continue or finish recovery (and there is an end to it), here are some of the ways you may gain. I have divided them into five groups for clarity: Awareness, Health, Healing, Having a Life and the most importantly, Safety. Survivors can make their own lists of changes they perceive in themselves as they heal. I offer this list just as a start or an idea.
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Awareness
–Find out who you are rather than knowing very little about yourself—go from not knowing essential facts about your own life to knowing.
–Be aware of how alienated you have felt and stop that condition if you want to.
–No longer believe all the lies that you were fed since birth. Educate child parts within so that they can grow and understand that perpetrators lied to them.
–Regain a fighting spirit and no longer tolerate abuse of any kind, even from everyday people in normal life.
–Express yourself, even anger or especially anger, never permitted before. Be aware of how many unexpressed feelings built over your lifetime.
–If you are abused in any way, you can shake it off more easily. It doesn’t settle inside and ferment.
–No longer misuse your abilities and talents. Use the skills and abilities your perpetrators stole from you for your own purposes, not theirs, and not to serve evil but to serve good.
–Let all parts of your mind know how to do something, not just a trained and isolated part.
–Begin to feel truly competent within yourself.
–You could no longer be used to attempt to stop other survivors’ progress or do destructive acts. If you don’t find out what happened to you and what they put in your brain, then sadly they still own you, can do what they want with you and without your being aware of it. That state of being is not a recipe for life or for being alive.
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Health
–Not be tortured, which is a component of being mind controlled.
–Improve your health, sleep, eating habits. Experience deeper sleep, with all or much of your brain engaging in sleep at once. Multiplicity can resolve in deep sleep.
–Improve self-care or stop obsessing about it.
–Live in your body rather than float outside of it because of dissociation.
–No longer think simple events will last forever. Because survivors have been kept in imaginary invisible prisons, because parts inside have been trapped in containers and frozen often in childhood ages, they view life as never-changing. That is part of criminal programming. Once they have their brains back, they adjust to movement, impermanence, no longer feel so trapped and realize these states don’t last forever.
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Healing:
–Go from someone unreal with only hints of your genuine self to who your genes, will, intelligence, environment and history made you into.
We have been made inauthentic because only a piece of our minds was allowed to be present at any moment—either one of the front parts or one of the mass of secret well hidden parts. Ordinary people can also act falsely. When survivors free themselves and their brains, they become authentic, which can shock general society.
–Be able to walk down the street without the old level of worry that you will be abducted.
–Begin to love yourself as you learn about yourself.
–Work on forgiving yourself for what others did to you and what you did or do to yourself.
–Shame and all unpleasant emotions are no longer free floating, undefinable feelings. Instead they are redirected to specific events. You know why you feel the way you do.
–Say no to people you don’t want around you.
–Stop having to try to please others, who are often your enemies.
–No longer follow orders which are detrimental to yourself.
–Resist hand signals which are detrimental to you.
–Decreased insecurity. For example, no longer hide or show off who you are. Stop putting yourself down or bragging.
–Defrost—with this kind of abuse, a numbness pervades.
–Learn to relax and let the body and brain begin to heal deeply. This healing may take a long time.
–Don’t let an addictive part of your mind take over.
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Having a Life:
–Relationships change for the better. You are no longer the servant or the bully. Awareness that relationships have to be equal, without one person giving everything and the other barely anything.
–You try to help your children in a knowing way. If it’s too late, you let them go on the earthy realm despite your and their broken hearts.
–Have a pet without the old level of worry that the pet will be injured or murdered.
–Get to know ordinary people and no longer live only among those trained to control you.
–Learn how to be with people who are good and kind to you.
–Surround yourself with love. If you can’t find loving people, then surround yourself with loving Plants and animals.
–Life is no longer bouncing back from traumatic assaults. Experience boredom and learn to cope with the boredom of ordinary life.
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Safety
This issue of being accessed is one of the most pressing and difficult of recovery and treatment. When survivors are in therapy with a safe person and not a plant, if they are making progress and on the track to knowing their inside life, then chances are the enemy group will do all it can to stop this progress. That is one of the saddest facts of recovery. It is awful to think that people who suffered so much are suffering more just because they want to be free. It’s awful but it happens, frequently.
The most important task in therapy is to spot whether survivors are being accessed. Some victims will know and tell but many will not. For a long time, survivors may not be able to tell themselves, their therapists and helpers what is happening to them. If you are trying to assist, attempt to develop the ability to hear their silent screams. Survivors’ front or communicative parts and inside parts may not know or may have been threatened and repeatedly threatened that they or their therapists, helpers, children, animals, other loved ones will be killed if they tell. Or they may sense their already overwhelmed therapists’ and helpers’ resistance to know more bad news, this time particularly horrible news. What they do instead is give silent cues so that those who can bear knowing can know. People who have grown up in this kind of secrecy and oppression have devised ways of telling obscurely. Look for sudden outbursts of anger. These sometimes follow torture sessions which have been dissociated from the main brain. Look for sudden disease or injury. Therapists should be on the lookout for any signs of recent torture or mind control or anything new on the body that could imply clients’ being hurt. Look for sudden changes in an inside personality that comes forward momentarily, expressing outrage, the desire to stop therapy, or erasing the work accomplished so far.
If accessing is occurring, that is the main point of therapy at this stage. It is the key to further treatment. If clients can identify which part or parts were accessed and how, meaning what triggers were used, then they can open a door to the whole system. Holding onto this truth and working through it can save years of recovery time, plus excessive torture.
If some accessing is known and reported but it still occurs, you have not yet reached another hidden section that has vulnerable inside parts. There is then more to explore. Sometimes more than one group accesses and tortures. Home groups may travel distances for certain victims and even war for dominant ownership of victims.
Therapists may want to ask each time you meet whether clients have been accessed and tortured. You won’t get a truthful answer for a while, but even so, you are signaling to them that you want to know. Survivors have an uncanny ability to read people. They will know if you are insincere. Should you get a true answer, grit your teeth and bear it no matter how hard. It is part of the treatment. Survivors, let your own inner therapist ask you these same questions. Scrutinize yourself. The most important job right now is to stop the accessing.
If you are accessed because you followed command signals, investigate which part obeyed, which part was threatened and which part was silenced. If you didn’t follow commands but were abducted, ask similar questions. Get as much information from your inside world as possible.
In addition to getting the narrative and speaking with the parts evoked, ask how did the perpetrator group know? If you get a true answer, you’re in the reporter section. The reporters, one of the first groups to deal with and enlighten, live in a sort of balcony over the system. They can see and hear what is going on and are programmed to tattle. But they don’t observe the great harm they do to the whole system and need to be educated. You’ve opened two crucial doors: how they get their hands on accessed or abducted clients, and the young reporters who must change sides. If not, you’re building with one hand and knocking down with the other. These two doors can lead you past the unknowing front people and into the heart of the inside system.
The role of human reporters is somewhat diminished since perpetrator groups get so much spying done from computers, phones and other technological devices. But they still train human victims to be reporters. They use children six to nine years old. By the time these victims reach ten or eleven, they have a sense that what they are doing is not right and are not used. Perpetrator groups certainly do not want anyone reporting on them, but the younger reporter parts remain in place inside.
Organizers of these evil cults thrive on secrecy and design victims who will not know what is happening to them. The last thing they want is publicity. Once you know, you can tell. Once you have control of your brain, you will know what is happening to you, when and by whom. There is no guarantee, but it is likely that this knowledge may scare the enemy off and they will leave you alone, for the first time in your life perhaps.
Sometimes client or ex-clients decide to move away. That decision may be innocent and good, but it also may be a sign of mind control. Be suspicious. Often they are moving to be with a friend or family member. They may have been told to move somewhere. They also may have been threatened that this enemy group will murder the therapist or someone else they may love if they don’t comply. Be sure to explore this move with clients and even ex-clients. Tell them your fears. Tell them the enemy cult cannot murder therapists or others because red flags would go up and their secrecy would be destroyed. Even if this information bypasses their front people, their inside parts will hear and learn. Try to help them not follow commands and not fall into a trap.
ATTEMPTED EMERGENCE INTO THE ORDINARY WORLD:
When you’re no longer part of a satanic cult, the only other world open to you is the ordinary life one. Emergence is difficult and some survivors won’t have much support, if any. And now they are aware, feeling and no longer numb. Front parts have some familiarity with the normal world. Having a good relationship with your therapist or helper can aid in guiding you into normal life. If you don’t have those, you can do it on your own.
As more and more surviving victims achieve freedom, therapists may want to receive training in helping clients go from slavery to emergence into the normal world. It may become a new specialty.
There are similarities and differences between these two types of existences:
We have lived programmed against our will. Normals live conditioned by parental authority, societal norms, religious doctrine, advertising.
We were not inside our bodies so felt numb. Normals feel pain and some try to numb their bodies through alcohol, destructive drugs or lesser ones like caffeine, sugar, chocolate or even exercise, work, violence and others ways.
We have had our intelligence usurped, but society has dummied down populations who rarely read, write or focus anymore.
We all live in relative isolation.
Only you know how much you can take and how passionately you want freedom. Here are some of the MAIN ISSUES to consider:
WEAK SPOTS: Try to find weak spots. For example, do you or your clients mostly fear being killed or someone else being murdered, especially someone helping them or someone they love. Trouble shoot and rehearse these possible scenarios with the purpose of building survivors’ strength, clear thinking and reducing vulnerabilities.
THREATS: They will threaten to hurt your child or children.
Satanic generational mind control cults torture and program all children born into these criminal groups. That is how they prepare the next generations to be robots.
If you are from a generational cult, they will hurt them no matter what you do. You could stop yourself from recovery for no reason at all.
The only chance you have of helping your children is finding out what the enemy did to your own mind and gaining freedom. That would open a door for children who want to follow.
They will threaten to blow up the world. Your child parts may fall for that threat. Help them to understand that it is a ridiculous threat.
SPIES: Are you willing to break off with people in your life?
Most will be in this cult—either knowingly or unknowingly. Many people are trapped in those evil organizations from birth without even knowing it. Obviously it is best not to be spied on and tortured, because that is what they are in your life for.
But can you break with your past and give up whatever good has crept into these relationships?
Only you can decide.
Survivors, if you want to stay as you are but receive help with break-through feelings, then look for one of the many supportive therapists. There are few mind control specialists who know the field deeply, and those need to work with clients who really desire freedom and are willing to endure both the hard work of the journey and the enemy’s interference.
If you desire freedom and will not be thwarted by the enemy’s threats, be careful which therapists and support people you choose. Some therapists who call themselves mind control experts don’t yet understand the depth of mind control. But you and your therapist can learn together. Therapists can learn what’s inside survivors, and clients can learn how to access what’s inside them. The information is in survivors, but survivors don’t have easy access to it. Before recovery, surviving victims don’t know the burden they carry.
Some therapists are what we call ‘plants,’ pretending to be helpers but assigned by the enemy group to stop progress and report. Survivors, ask inside what those parts who may know think. Trust your instincts especially if they come from deep within you. Notice whether this therapist uses sculpted hand signals which internal parts may interpret. Many of us, especially those coming from Masonic groups, have been trained to respond to hand signals.
Also notice if they distract you from your memory process. Are they telling you that your perpetrators were not people but spirits, that the personalities inside you are not parts of you but are spiritual entities, or that the personalities you reveal and are talking are self-created and not created by programmers? Those are some of the methods evil organizations use to attempt to stop victims from discovering who they are.
For therapists: How will you know how motivated a client is? In the initial, exploratory sessions, do some preliminary questioning. Even if the right parts aren’t answering, many parts will be listening and you will be delivering important information.
A. Tell clients these cults may abuse and torture while survivors are trying to get free. Ask them if they want to be told if the therapist suspects they have been accessed or if their homes have been broken into.
B. Inform them that perpetrators threaten. Perpetrators want to find out where victims are the most vulnerable. They’ll ask, for example, do you want to be shamed publicly or be tortured? Perpetrators may then do both but will focus on where you say you are the most vulnerable. Work on survivors giving perpetrators wrong answers. Practice self-protective lying.
Trouble shoot. Work on strengthening the vulnerability. Rehearse possible access scenes.
C. Ask why they want to be free. Is it worth it to them?
Surviving victims have an internal healing program. An inner overseer knows when and how the internal sections were separated from the main brain. Once survivors are on a healing track, they will know what to do step by step. Clients do the vast majority of the work. The therapist needs to be kind, listen, understand and ask the right questions now and then. That is all demanding, hard and trying work.
Even though survivors have an internal foundation of infant parts, they are not infants. Don’t make decisions for them or treat them as children. They have already survived the impossible. They are heroes. No matter how intensely they may ask you to and no matter how helplessly they present themselves, do not control their lives. They need practice making decisions and choices, since that had been taken away from them. They have already wasted so much time and need practice now in shaping their own lives. They are as capable and adept as anyone. Help them learn how to think for themselves.
TREATMENT POSSIBILITIES:
In addition to talk therapy, EMDR, bilateral movement (walking, swimming), art and sand tray therapy, body work:
Explore dehydration—Ask adult survivors, do you hardly drink water and live in a chronic dehydrated state or drink water excessively, washing away the vitamins from food? Explore why. Controllers may keep cult infants dehydrated to aid in mind control. Modules in the brain may pop out more easily in a dehydrated and starved state.
Learn from ADHD treatment. In dissociation, the brain is shattered. Survivors can learn to hold their brains together and not let parts of their brain float away.
Recently, I walked in an unfamiliar state park, followed a path that to my surprise turned into a cliff. I had to go straight up and realized if I let my mind wander at all, I could slip. I held my brain tightly together in this threatening situation and realized this control of the brain would be good for mind control victims whose brains have been so forcefully separated. The healing could be like ADHD treatment that uses rock climbing and focusing to hold the brain together and create new habits.
Concussions. Some of us had head injuries almost constantly during childhood and beyond. Some of us had more than football players and other athletes. Explore treatment for concussions.
CONCLUSION: Survivors, to know yourself is to free yourself from all the perpetrators who denigrated you, persecuted you and put you down your whole life. As you consider your true self, you may end up liking yourself.
Programmers, including family, work almost constantly on destroying surviving victims’ self-esteem. They even work on their child victims while they sleep. Deep programming can penetrate sleep. For example, they do what they call ‘Birthday’ programming around four times a year. A chorus, often of family members, tells child victims how stupid, ugly, awful, worthless, etc. they are, sometimes starting on their birthday.
They also recite rhyming nursery tales with an attempt to destroy sleeping victims’ self-esteem. They use one derogatory word from this nursery tale during the day, in an attempt to remind the victim that they are to believe that they are worthless.
That programming may not have happened to you or it may have, but it is one of their gimmicks and formulas. The enemy groups experiment until they find abuses that they think work and they try those out on many victims. But when you have awareness and memory of what was done to you and hold it all together, you’ll no longer believe what the enemy group wants you to believe. You’ll be able to value yourself fully.
Being, feeling at home in life and the world is knowing who you are, what your abilities and main ability is, where you belong. That is exactly what mind control deliberately takes away. It is what they don’t want their victims to achieve. It is not a beautiful home, new car, grand vacation. It is knowing who you are and feeling comfortable with it. Erasing mind control from your brain restores this very ability to achieve self-knowledge.
Understanding some of what had happened to you may help you regain a concept of who you are. Survivors, in addition you will have increased your self-esteem because you’ll know that you’ve accomplished the main purpose of your life—that you’ve achieved freedom. In doing so, you’ve snipped a chain for yourself, for other slaves and released something genuine into the atmosphere. How many people can say that!
2022
